More Firsts

I am so late in posting this. Eve rolled over for the first time unassisted on Saturday, January 15th. She was on the bed between my mom and I and she just rolled over. She was almost over and my mom said "she's going to roll over". She just had the one shoulder to go and she did it. Once she got on her tummy she pushed herself up and just grinned from ear to ear like she was so proud of herself. I was sure proud of her. Unfortunately Anthony missed it because he was in El Paso for the memorial of his grandmother.

Saturday, January 22nd she laughed for the first time. We were just hanging out at home and I was rocking her. I took her hands and started kissing them really fast and saying mwuah and she just giggled out loud and kept doing it while I did that. Anthony rushed to get the camera and of course we missed it! Later we were all watching Glee together and I had her propped up on my knees with her feet against my belly. They did a number by Queen to "Another One Bites the Dust" so I started moving my legs a little side to side and held her hands out and we sort of danced and she just LAUGHED so hard. We got it on video that time. It was adorable.

We also are having her first cold. This one is not a first that is fun at all. My poor baby girl is so stopped up rigth now. I shoot saline up her nose and then bulb it but nothing seems to help. She's miserable. The doctor said there's really nothing they can do for her since she's so little. The good news is it's not in her ears or her chest yet. There are numerous cases of RSV going around so I hope she doens't get that. I hate seeing her in pain. It's the most helpless feeling a new mommy can have.

We have our routine down now and it's all going well. I wish I had more time in a day but we are making it work! She is starting to really love her toys too. She got a seahorse that sings and his tummy lights up and she just stares at it. She loves it and how it lights up. I wish her mobile fit over her pack n play. The one that came with it we can't use because of the changing table. She loves her rattles and grips those really good too. She stands up on our laps and her back and neck are very strong! She's doing great with all of her milestones. She's getting so big. She weighs 13 lbs 1oz as of January 25th at the doctor. We have her 4 month appointment on the 8th and I am not looking forward to it. She has to get shots and I hate that!

Rolling Over

We had another milestone this past weekend. Eve was laying on a quilt between my mom and I in bed on Saturday afternoon. She started rolling onto her side. My mom said "I think she is oging to roll over!" and I didn't really believe her. We were watching and sure enough she got almost all the way over just needing one shoulder and she finally did it. She ended up on her tummy and pushed herself up and kind of looked up at me. Then she gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen! It was the cutest thing ever. My dad walked in and saw it too.

We were sad that Anthony missed it but he was in El Paso. I Know she will do it again for him when he gets home.

We also changed sizes again. She's now in 3-6 months clothes. Some of them are still a little big but the others are too small. There were outfits in the 0-3 range she didn't even get to wear! So crazy. Mom and I went shopping and got some great deals at Carter's so that was fun. I loved having my parents over all weekend. I am so happy they are getting to spend so much time with Eve when she is in the very baby stage. They love being involved as well so it's really nice.

I can't wait to spend some time with Anthony tonight. I feel like it's been ages since I have seen him. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family. I feel very blessed.

3 1/2 Months Old

I still cannot believe that my baby girl is 3 1/2 months old already! Last night Anthony cleaned off our camcorder videos so he could take the camera to El Paso with him and we found all the videos of Eve coming home. She was so so so tiny. I cried watching them a little. I am happy to watch her grow and learn and I wouldn't trade this time at all but looking back at how tiny she seemed just a few months ago was amazing.

Motherhood is such an internal battle of emotions sometimes! I am so excited to see her grow but I want her to stay little too. This week she did a few things for the first time. I rushed into the house running for the bathroom after my hour and a half commute. I ran past her and said "Hey Monkey I love you " and kissed her little cheek. Anthony said she immediately poked out that bottom lip and looked after me and just started crying! Oh no I thought! I hurried out to her and she put her little head in the crook of my neck and I just held her for a minute then when I looked at her she just gave me the biggest grin I have ever seen. It was one of those moments that I just wanted to melt. Most days when Anthony gets home with her they have fun for a while and she will get a little fussy and I seem to be the only one that can soothe her. That makes me feel good in a way, but scares me in another way.

She started sucking her thumb yesterday for the first time also. She was just putting her whole fist in her mouth sometimes and now she's figured out how to just put the thumb in. She doesn't do it very often but she did just start. Her sleep schedule is still really good so far. It's taking a little longer to get her down at night but once she's down, that's it. She can self soothe to go back to sleep. I hope she stays that way!

Anthony has been working hard on finishing in mural in her nursery. It's so detailed and with Christmas, her coming home, his work and some other family things it's taken longer than we thought. It should be done very soon and then we will put her in the crib in her own room instead of the pack n play. It makes me nervous to have her so far away, but it will be good for all three of us in the long run. Right now she sleeps in the pack n play in our bedroom so she's so close I can hear every little coo and noise. It's nice but it also keeps me awake in a way.

My mom and dad are coming in tonight and staying with me until Tuesday so that will be a lot of fun. Anthony is traveling to El Paso to the memorial of his paternal grandmother, Joan Quarm. She passed away on December 28th. She was one of the most amazing women I ever met. I am so lucky to have known her. She was very special to both of us and we are so sad that she never got to meet Eve. Joan lived through the Blitz in England, where she is from. She then lived in Portugal, Peru, South Africa and finally settled in El Paso. She had 1 daughter and 4 sons. She was a professor of English at UTEP, produced a radio program, wrote for the El Paso Times and ran the Gilbert and Sullivan theatre program until only two years ago. She was 91 years old and will be greatly missed.

I wish I could attend her service and let Eve meet some of the other relatives but we decided that being in a car for 12 hours each way and having to rush around all over town while we are there and me missing work after just returning was just too much. It's hard enough to go to the store with an infant, much less drive across the state with one. I wish I could be there to support Anthony, but sometimes I have to realize I can't do it all.

Firsts and Fear

The year keeps passing by and Eve keeps having firsts. This week was her very first snow. She wasn't impressed but she will be soon. I can't wait to hear her little voice saying "mommy it's snowing, it's snowing" and rushing to get her boots, mittens and hats on as fast as possible. She watched the snow throught he window with an amazing look on her face though. Every time I look at her face I wonder what she is thinking and I can't wait until she can tell me.

She smiles at us every morning now and it melts my heart. Her smile is infectious. Anthony said this morning as we were rushing around getting ready to go to work that there was nothing on earth better than a baby's smile. I have to agree. She is already starting the very easy job of completely wrapping her daddy around her little finger. She's had me for a long time...

We had a very scary experience on Sunday evening late at 1:30am. We were both asleep and the doorbell rang...at 1:30am. We both bolted up in bed and in the :30 it took to get to the door for Anthony (I was right behind him) so many thoughts raced through my head. I was concerned that it would be a police officer with bad news. I didn't know what to think but in that few seconds my immediate response was to protect my baby. It's so weird and hard to describe but it was this instant protective mode I went into in my brain.

Anthony answered the door and it was a woman who immediately reached for the glass door to our home to come in. He asked what was wrong and what he could do to help and she just said "I need to use your phone. I need to come in". He said he would be happy to call someone for her if she would just give us the phone number and she was insistent that "No she would call someone just let her in". I was on the other side of the door telling him I was calling 9-1-1 because if she needed help we would get it for her but she was NOT coming into the house acting that way.

She was pacing back and forth on the porch from what I could gather. She said that she was scared of her husband but no don't call the police. Then he said he was calling and she said "No just go get your parents, I know your parents". He said "Lady I own this house". Then she just said nevermind and ran off.

Within a minute and a half we saw the police lights outside of the cops looking for her. She was gone. They had one officer in the alley and one at the front looking between all the houses. The officer told us that they had gotten another call that an elderly lady had someone knocking on her door and ringing the doorbell trying to get her to come to the door too. She was two streets over so the police were already in the area searching for this person. The officer kept asking us if she was high or drunk. I couldn't tell from her voice and Anthony didn't think she was but anything is possible.

They left and told us we did the right thing and I stayed awake until 5am with the adrenaline. I went through every scenario in my head. I felt like maybe I was rude for not letting her in, but then the logical part of me was like no! She was a stranger, not a neighbor, she came from nowhere and she DID NOT want us to call the police. For all I know she could have had someone sitting right there next to my porch waiting for an opportunity to bust our door down and get into our home. There are numerous things that she could have been wanting but none of them had pure intentions, of that I am sure.

We are positive she had a car waiting because the cops saw no one on foot and said there is no way she could have run away that fast. She also didn't live anywhere near our house because we know all of our neighbors so where did she go? It was so scary and freaky to me because I didn't know her intentions and I had a perfect little angel all swaddled up in my room and I was scared.

Eve slept through all of it. The dogs barking, the police, the doorbell, me crying and Anthony telling me it would be okay. She just dreamed of better things I hope and knows nothing of that night except the next morning she woke up to lots of snow to look at.

13 Weeks Old

It's really hard to blog. I used to do it all the time but I have been busy! Eve Katherine is 13 weeks old today. Tomorrow she is offically three months old and I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. This was my first week back to work and it has been harder than I could have even imagine.

Monday night I got both of our stuff ready for the hard morning that I knew Tuesday would be. I got her dressed, fed her and snuggled with her for a while. I barely slept at all because I was so anxious. I have only left her for maybe a total of 6 hours since I gave birth to her so I had lots of odd feelings. I dropped her off at the sitter and then sat in my car on their street and sobbed my eyes out. I called Anthony and he talked to me for a while about how she would be fine, and I knew she would be but still...she wasn't with me. I also called my mom. My mom has become one of my best friends since I became pregnant. I call her every single day numerous times. She just said that it sucks and you don't want to leave them but you have to. She always worked too and I never felt like she wasn't part of my life or anything, I just hate leaving her. I cried all the way to work. Luckily I work with some amazing moms who know exactly what I went through that morning so they were all very supportive about it.

I got home on Tuesday night around 6pm and she fell asleep at 7:30. She was exhausted so I let her sleep and just rocked her. Wednesday morning I cried even more because I felt like I had only seen my baby for a few hours in a 24 hour period. It was harder than the first day because I knew it was going to be like this every morning.

It was better yesterday and today. I got up and spent some extra time rocking her and seeing her beautiful face. I cannot wait to get her this evening because I will have until Monday morning to spend with her.

She has been the most amazing baby so far. She started sleeping through the night completely on December 8th. She goes to sleep between 8:30 and 9pm and before I went back to work she wouldn't wake up until 7 or 8am. Now we get up at 6am to get ready to go to work and the sitter. She smiled at us for the first time on November 23rd and it was the best feeling in the world. She is cooing now and smiling and gripping her rattle. She can sit up in her bumbo seat and she loves to just look around. She loved the Christmas lights during the holidays. She would just stare at them in awe.

Parenthood is truly amazing. People tell you that there is no feeling like looking at your baby, and there really isn't. Seeing her with Anthony makes me love my husband even more than I thought possible. He and I have come even closer through this parenthood part of our journey. He is the most amazing husband and father and I am thankful for him each and every day.

The dogs all love Eve. They are very protective of her and love when she coos. I am so happy these days. We plan to have another baby in 2012 as of right now. We are hoping to have a son to complete our family but will be happy if we have a little girl too of course. I am so in love with my little girl that I can't imagine having enough love for another little one but I know that you can.