I still cannot believe that my baby girl is 3 1/2 months old already! Last night Anthony cleaned off our camcorder videos so he could take the camera to El Paso with him and we found all the videos of Eve coming home. She was so so so tiny. I cried watching them a little. I am happy to watch her grow and learn and I wouldn't trade this time at all but looking back at how tiny she seemed just a few months ago was amazing.
Motherhood is such an internal battle of emotions sometimes! I am so excited to see her grow but I want her to stay little too. This week she did a few things for the first time. I rushed into the house running for the bathroom after my hour and a half commute. I ran past her and said "Hey Monkey I love you " and kissed her little cheek. Anthony said she immediately poked out that bottom lip and looked after me and just started crying! Oh no I thought! I hurried out to her and she put her little head in the crook of my neck and I just held her for a minute then when I looked at her she just gave me the biggest grin I have ever seen. It was one of those moments that I just wanted to melt. Most days when Anthony gets home with her they have fun for a while and she will get a little fussy and I seem to be the only one that can soothe her. That makes me feel good in a way, but scares me in another way.
She started sucking her thumb yesterday for the first time also. She was just putting her whole fist in her mouth sometimes and now she's figured out how to just put the thumb in. She doesn't do it very often but she did just start. Her sleep schedule is still really good so far. It's taking a little longer to get her down at night but once she's down, that's it. She can self soothe to go back to sleep. I hope she stays that way!
Anthony has been working hard on finishing in mural in her nursery. It's so detailed and with Christmas, her coming home, his work and some other family things it's taken longer than we thought. It should be done very soon and then we will put her in the crib in her own room instead of the pack n play. It makes me nervous to have her so far away, but it will be good for all three of us in the long run. Right now she sleeps in the pack n play in our bedroom so she's so close I can hear every little coo and noise. It's nice but it also keeps me awake in a way.
My mom and dad are coming in tonight and staying with me until Tuesday so that will be a lot of fun. Anthony is traveling to El Paso to the memorial of his paternal grandmother, Joan Quarm. She passed away on December 28th. She was one of the most amazing women I ever met. I am so lucky to have known her. She was very special to both of us and we are so sad that she never got to meet Eve. Joan lived through the Blitz in England, where she is from. She then lived in Portugal, Peru, South Africa and finally settled in El Paso. She had 1 daughter and 4 sons. She was a professor of English at UTEP, produced a radio program, wrote for the El Paso Times and ran the Gilbert and Sullivan theatre program until only two years ago. She was 91 years old and will be greatly missed.
I wish I could attend her service and let Eve meet some of the other relatives but we decided that being in a car for 12 hours each way and having to rush around all over town while we are there and me missing work after just returning was just too much. It's hard enough to go to the store with an infant, much less drive across the state with one. I wish I could be there to support Anthony, but sometimes I have to realize I can't do it all.
Motherhood is such an internal battle of emotions sometimes! I am so excited to see her grow but I want her to stay little too. This week she did a few things for the first time. I rushed into the house running for the bathroom after my hour and a half commute. I ran past her and said "Hey Monkey I love you " and kissed her little cheek. Anthony said she immediately poked out that bottom lip and looked after me and just started crying! Oh no I thought! I hurried out to her and she put her little head in the crook of my neck and I just held her for a minute then when I looked at her she just gave me the biggest grin I have ever seen. It was one of those moments that I just wanted to melt. Most days when Anthony gets home with her they have fun for a while and she will get a little fussy and I seem to be the only one that can soothe her. That makes me feel good in a way, but scares me in another way.
She started sucking her thumb yesterday for the first time also. She was just putting her whole fist in her mouth sometimes and now she's figured out how to just put the thumb in. She doesn't do it very often but she did just start. Her sleep schedule is still really good so far. It's taking a little longer to get her down at night but once she's down, that's it. She can self soothe to go back to sleep. I hope she stays that way!
Anthony has been working hard on finishing in mural in her nursery. It's so detailed and with Christmas, her coming home, his work and some other family things it's taken longer than we thought. It should be done very soon and then we will put her in the crib in her own room instead of the pack n play. It makes me nervous to have her so far away, but it will be good for all three of us in the long run. Right now she sleeps in the pack n play in our bedroom so she's so close I can hear every little coo and noise. It's nice but it also keeps me awake in a way.
My mom and dad are coming in tonight and staying with me until Tuesday so that will be a lot of fun. Anthony is traveling to El Paso to the memorial of his paternal grandmother, Joan Quarm. She passed away on December 28th. She was one of the most amazing women I ever met. I am so lucky to have known her. She was very special to both of us and we are so sad that she never got to meet Eve. Joan lived through the Blitz in England, where she is from. She then lived in Portugal, Peru, South Africa and finally settled in El Paso. She had 1 daughter and 4 sons. She was a professor of English at UTEP, produced a radio program, wrote for the El Paso Times and ran the Gilbert and Sullivan theatre program until only two years ago. She was 91 years old and will be greatly missed.
I wish I could attend her service and let Eve meet some of the other relatives but we decided that being in a car for 12 hours each way and having to rush around all over town while we are there and me missing work after just returning was just too much. It's hard enough to go to the store with an infant, much less drive across the state with one. I wish I could be there to support Anthony, but sometimes I have to realize I can't do it all.
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