Firsts and Fear

The year keeps passing by and Eve keeps having firsts. This week was her very first snow. She wasn't impressed but she will be soon. I can't wait to hear her little voice saying "mommy it's snowing, it's snowing" and rushing to get her boots, mittens and hats on as fast as possible. She watched the snow throught he window with an amazing look on her face though. Every time I look at her face I wonder what she is thinking and I can't wait until she can tell me.

She smiles at us every morning now and it melts my heart. Her smile is infectious. Anthony said this morning as we were rushing around getting ready to go to work that there was nothing on earth better than a baby's smile. I have to agree. She is already starting the very easy job of completely wrapping her daddy around her little finger. She's had me for a long time...

We had a very scary experience on Sunday evening late at 1:30am. We were both asleep and the doorbell rang...at 1:30am. We both bolted up in bed and in the :30 it took to get to the door for Anthony (I was right behind him) so many thoughts raced through my head. I was concerned that it would be a police officer with bad news. I didn't know what to think but in that few seconds my immediate response was to protect my baby. It's so weird and hard to describe but it was this instant protective mode I went into in my brain.

Anthony answered the door and it was a woman who immediately reached for the glass door to our home to come in. He asked what was wrong and what he could do to help and she just said "I need to use your phone. I need to come in". He said he would be happy to call someone for her if she would just give us the phone number and she was insistent that "No she would call someone just let her in". I was on the other side of the door telling him I was calling 9-1-1 because if she needed help we would get it for her but she was NOT coming into the house acting that way.

She was pacing back and forth on the porch from what I could gather. She said that she was scared of her husband but no don't call the police. Then he said he was calling and she said "No just go get your parents, I know your parents". He said "Lady I own this house". Then she just said nevermind and ran off.

Within a minute and a half we saw the police lights outside of the cops looking for her. She was gone. They had one officer in the alley and one at the front looking between all the houses. The officer told us that they had gotten another call that an elderly lady had someone knocking on her door and ringing the doorbell trying to get her to come to the door too. She was two streets over so the police were already in the area searching for this person. The officer kept asking us if she was high or drunk. I couldn't tell from her voice and Anthony didn't think she was but anything is possible.

They left and told us we did the right thing and I stayed awake until 5am with the adrenaline. I went through every scenario in my head. I felt like maybe I was rude for not letting her in, but then the logical part of me was like no! She was a stranger, not a neighbor, she came from nowhere and she DID NOT want us to call the police. For all I know she could have had someone sitting right there next to my porch waiting for an opportunity to bust our door down and get into our home. There are numerous things that she could have been wanting but none of them had pure intentions, of that I am sure.

We are positive she had a car waiting because the cops saw no one on foot and said there is no way she could have run away that fast. She also didn't live anywhere near our house because we know all of our neighbors so where did she go? It was so scary and freaky to me because I didn't know her intentions and I had a perfect little angel all swaddled up in my room and I was scared.

Eve slept through all of it. The dogs barking, the police, the doorbell, me crying and Anthony telling me it would be okay. She just dreamed of better things I hope and knows nothing of that night except the next morning she woke up to lots of snow to look at.